Midge Diabolik - Another Byte Of Banality

Obituaries: My Little Trashcam 2007-2011

2011-12-17T12:28:00.003Z

I think i bought this Samsung trashcam about four years back when i started earning some regular scratch at Urban Village. It wasn't great, in fact the cheap Russian Jenoptik 5mp i bought the year before took a sharper picture. But it was small, the flash took a decent photo in dingy pubs and i could juggle it one handed with a pint of lager. But approx 1,700 photo's later tragedy happened, at an English Dogs gig it caught half a pint of cheap Cider square in the kisser. I wiped it clean but alas it's days were now numbered. First it's vision started failing (well the little shutters started sticking) then the gears started making an arthiritic grinding noise when extending the lens. Finally about a week back it tried, oh it tried dear reader but with a heart wrenching wheezy double beep it passed away in my hand in a half open rictus. Next week it's Christmas and hopefully i'll have a shiny new one but i'll never forget noisy fun times had with the little unassuming shutterbug..
Take some pictures of Angels (the good looking ones mind) and i'm sure we'll meet again.
Midge :'(

Ryan vs. The Flapper

2011-12-10T14:18:00.002Z

Well being a Flapper & Firkin regular and a Ryan's Gig Guide consumer i'm not gonna be stupid enough to take sides but this latest editorial did make me titter.

" WHAT'S YER FIRKIN PROBLEM?

A shame that after some 15 years or so of listing the Flapper & Firkin's gigs for free (and never getting so much as a thank you!), Ryan's Gig Guide is no longer welcome there. I made the silly mistake of putting last months' copies of the guide in the wooden display unit which is (was) located on the wall on the way to the bar. Apparently it is (was!) reserved for The Fly. Shome mistake surely? Apart from the fact that I had to get the damn thing okayed by the then Area Manager, paid for the box to be made, delivered it and fixed it to the bleedin' wall, I can't think of a good reason why on earth I would have the temerity to believe that I could just drop the guides in there willy nilly! Well, after being told to take my guides away, I'm afraid I then felt it my duty to liberate the aforementioned display unit by ripping the fucker off the wall! I say rip, but a gentle pull was all it took - how on earth it lasted so long is beyond me! Only one other known example remains in the wild and I fear that it has also been removed from the now deceased JB's in Dudley. You should have seen the face on the Manageress! Gonna report me to the Police and everyfink for damaging her pub by leaving 2 screw holes in the wood. Yes dear, 1/2 inch screws do leave a shocking hole in a wall, unfortunately made all the more noticeable by the fact that the lazy bleeders who redecorated the place over the years couldn't be arsed to take it off the wall before repainting the place. I might go and leave some flowers there, or maybe erect a memorial plaque. I've seen quite a few gaffers come and go at The Flapper over the years, but this latest one really needs to get her head out of her arse, then she might be able to recognise when someone is trying to help get people into her venue. Ah well, there are plenty more important things to get into a flap about - geddit?"

Old Wharf Closes

2011-12-05T17:08:00.001Z

Being tucked away up the road from a sex shop opposite a coach station The Old Wharf would be hard pushed to even make the final credits on 'Location Location Location' but nevertheless there it stood defiant in it's back street boozer's finest livery . Music wise a truly independent pub which unlike some other City Centre venues didn't tie it's tour T to any particular style catering for Brum's Punk, Metal and Indie scene, regular home to Punks Alive as well as BSP Rock nights meant you knew you'd be sure to have ringing ears to keep your hangover company in the morning. The Digbeth cold nights rarely stopped at the front door but the backroom fireplace could hold it's own (providing someone did a 'pallet run'), the murals were cheery, the ceiling rickety and the beer was reasonable.

But alas austerity bites and it seems crowds are agiley struggling to tighten their belts without cutting themselves clean in half, so after five years Dave & Michelle have sadly taken the difficult decision to leave. Finer hosts of the old school variety you couldn't wish to meet (though tbh i don't think i ever met Dave :S) now slowly being replaced with bland gastropubs, uniforms, name badges and those tills you operate with a plastic lollipop sticks. Both ably assisted by some fine (and patient) staff including Chris the sound dude who's one man noise wrangling skills averted many a potential disaster.

So another live music venue has gone leaving a gap (not least a geographical drinking gap between town and The Wagon and they're the worst type of gap) which is always a loss for Birmingham. I imagine it might just re open at some point in the future but i doubt if it'll put gigs on again with the regularity or prestige of the previous years.

There's plenty of photo's to be found on Flickr which show the cross section it catered for unfortunately as with all photos of the good times they're just a faint shadow of the true ambience.

So lets hope the remaining Digbeth live venues can take up the slack and the punters keep them viable for the future.

RIP

Midge x

(photo courtesy of Iron Man Records)

A Piece About Sat Navs With Some Artistic Licence.

2011-10-01T12:10:00.000+01:00

"At the next roundabout... go straight on"
"at the next roundabout... go straight on"
"at the next roundabout..." (ooh, the suspense is palpable)
and so on and so forth.
On our little jaunt around the coast (mainly the West and South bit) the Northern drawl of the lovely Lauren Laverne and comedy stylings of Josie Long and Andrew Collins were oft interrupted by the incessant (non?) directions of the Sat-Nav. During the times it managed to stay stuck to the windscreen (maybe it kept throwing itself off lemming like after sensing my hatred towards it) it bugged me, and it bugged me a lot. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, maybe it was my own fault for being useless at judging distances hence driving down dead ends and on one occasion down someones garden, maybe it was my shonky hearing requiring me to repeatedly ask "what did he say?", maybe it's my deep seated suspicion of being second guessed by a machine. But then it hit me, what actually bugs me is it's ability to interrupt the whole 'Zen' experience of driving.
Now the odd thing is i always thought i didn't particually enjoy driving and actually made the DSS take it off my Jobseekers Agreement (that's for another blog post) so drunkenly agreeing to drive around 56 piers in 11 days in a bid to look big was probably a foolish venture in the first place. But i did enjoy it, and when we decided to trust to Map 1.0 (hidden under the seat along with the ice scraper and fluffy dropped car sweets) i enjoyed it even more. Driving can be like a hypnotic poetry, you're at one with the white line down the middle of the road, the milestones, Sunday drivers and Little Chefs, you perform a sort of dance with the gear stick using the sound of the engine as your guiding muse (note: Renbault Clios have very odd Gear ratios). But then the 'Dashboard Nazi'* pipes up and suddenly you jump.. 'oh, i'm driving!' says the concious bit of your brain and bang, you're back in the real world. (NB: hypnotic doesn't mean i was dozing off despite spending most of the trip sleep deprived and hungover).
I'm not totally dissing the little robotic cartographer as in many a town it did it did efficiently point us at the Sea, though on the times when it was warming up and i took an executive decision it ALWAYS piped up with "at the next opportunity...turn around" (always with the pause!) i just thought it was being a petulant little fucker. They have their uses and i guess they're here to stay but surely we're losing something, even if it's the opportunity to engage with the passengers (or scream at the missus for holding the map of Dieppe upside down when navigating Greater Manchester). So for the forseeable future i think i'll stick with my oversized £1.99 AA map of Britain (other maps are available) and a travelling companion who can stay awake to read the lines and lines and lines.

Midge (straight on for 100 yards.... then turn left)

(*Jon's apt description for them, i was told there were two more in the car, should have fired them all up and let battle commence)

The Fiddle & Boneshaker (i have a dream)

2011-07-28T12:08:00.007+01:00

I spent many a Saturday night at Fiddle & Bone gigs, unfortunately the last few with one eye on the band and the other on the traffic light system the local council noise abatement Nazis had installed after complaints from the new flats built opposite* (cf.Spotted Dog/Rainbow).

Since it closed down it's sadly sat there for about ten years slowly decaying like a brewery themed Marie Ceste. Wheezing past it on my cycle the other day i had an 'inspired' thought, wouldn't it be frickin' ace Bike stop!. My ideas usually come fully formed in Black and White with helpful labels and arrows so i quickly knocked this up...

If you're not familiar with the former F&B it's about 10 minutes from the city centre on Sheepcote St, off Broad Street and adjacent/accessible to the Canal towpaths, with two floors it has a large courtyard /car park featuring some deep 'railway arches' and the downstairs front doors fully fold back so the selling points would be...

An upstairs Cafe (Bar?) F.E.B etc
Upstairs Quietspace/Lounge for working(?)
Wi Fi (free of course)
Downstairs Shop/Workshop area (see Birmingham Bike Foundry model)
Commuter Space Bike lockers, changing room, shower, etc
Maybe charging points for those stupid electric cars
Summer events run from the courtyard
and so on

I'm not sure who owns it now, what their intentions are, or what structural state it's interior is in (it's all timber inside) but it would be a crying shame to see a venue like this return to the beer soaked sawdust from whence it came.

So that's my idea, now to start grubbing down the back of the sofa for some funding.

(view from Sheepcote Street)

* the reason it closed is a bit more complex than noise but the complaints issue really stuck in my craw >:|

Crushed By The Wheels Of Iain Duncan Smith.

2011-06-23T16:47:00.007+01:00

The following views are mine alone (but definitely had some company)

"The Triangle of Success"

So if you’ve known me for any length of time you’’ll know my eclectic bunch of skills have seen me go through various periods of unemployment. If you’ve known me on Twitter for at least the last two weeks you may have also have seen me bitching about the new Jobseekers Plus ‘Fast Track to Employment’ course i’m on. Just imagine League of Gentleman’s ‘Job Club’ skit with more attractive staff and without the ever present fug of cigarette smoke and you’re in the right signing booth. Eos (née Fourstar, owned by Staffline) really pulling out all the training manual 101 cliche’s all the way.

I don’t have a problem with the idea behind these schemes, what i do have a problem with is the content, or in this case the lack thereof. We weren’t school leavers or new to the Job market so why we were given pointless hand out* after pointless flip chart presentation of stuff most sane minded would refer to as ’the bleedin’ obvious’?. Why? because it was pretty clear the staff (through no fault of their own) were floundering for things to fill out the two weeks they were contracted to deliver the course for.

The location?, oh the location dear readers was on the edge of an industrial estate right under Birmingham Airport’s flightpath. Nowhere to go in the breaks except hang around the barb wired fenced car park/recreation area dejectedly smoking fags in huddled groups watching the work experience security escorting newcomers around the site. Squint, imagine a few bench presses and you’d be transported to some American Prison yard hoping the tedium would be broken by either someone going postal or a steward getting shanked. Many demographics present, but one constant muttering of the waste of time they’d been submitted to to make the Government's ‘back to work’ policy look feasible. The whole encounter cuts deep into your self esteem which ironically is that which they’re supposed to be giving you back.

And pity the poor bastards (which may soon be me) on the unpaid Mandatory Four week ‘Work Related Activity’, note the word ‘Activity’ and not ‘Experience’, surely a basic admission packing screws for a month was just playing at having a job for a short while. The fact that many people were signing up to any random one of the slots available just to ‘get it out the way’ speaks volumes.

Was it all bad? well to be fair the trainers were always helpful,upbeat and pleasant despite some being on shaky short term contracts themselves. The CV stuff was actually useful for people without them and a refresher for people with. Signing people up to use e-mail services and teaching them basic I.T skills is never a bad thing. Some encouragement to register with Jobsites was useful as was the availability of the many resources. The 'mock presentation' with feedback reminded me i sometimes talk to bleedin quick and the bit on employment law was an eye opener. However all of this could have been covered in one week or less.

So Eos, to do, URGENT...

Efficient delivery of content.
Engaging worthwhile content (elsewise it's pointless).
Worthwhile training, worthwhile certificates at end, not using people as cheap labour.
Cheerier environment.
On FTTE, 3 hours Job searching every consecutive day for 2 weeks is fucking pointless and you know it! split it up.

Fast Track 101

Just in case you find yourself lumped on one of these courses here's some tips...

Don't Panic!, the two weeks do go quickly.
Unless you have a cast iron excuse don't miss days, they'll just sanction you and make you retake it all.
The 'mock interviews' are absolutely nothing to get worked up about (remember there's no actual job at stake).
Use and abuse the facilities, that's what they're there for.
(at Garretts Green) The canteen is very cheap, don't wander up to that burger wagon on the corner.
Never forget that you're a lot more than just a 'Potential employee'.

I'm guessing (nay praying) that because this FTTE course is relatively new and more people are being 'encouraged' onto them there'll be some tweaking in the coming Months and hopefully someone can rewrite this post in a more glowing light.

Anyway onwards and upwards
Gizzajob
Midge :)

* (My favourite being Twenty minutes assertaining whether we were Visual, Audio, or Kinaesthetic learners (the VAK test), the punchline being that there is little to no scientific support for this type of psychobabble, may as well as judged us by our star signs. Even if it were valid, five minutes later it was all forgotten about while we moved on to making a list of famous people !!!??.)

Clip On LED Reading Light Tear Down.

2011-05-04T20:45:00.001+01:00

So, how many times have you used one of these little L.E.D reading lights, been fascinated as to what's inside but have been just too lily livered to take it apart?.

Well i've done all the hard work for you and here it is in all it's naked glory...

(click to enlarge)

(note: no reading lights were hurt in this project and the top picture is actually the 'after' one)

That 'Hidden' iPhone Location File for Windows Users

2011-04-21T14:04:00.014+01:00

So, you might recently have read of the Pete Warden/Alasdiar Allen hoo-ha about that 'hidden' tracking file on your computer which has a record of everywhere your iPhone's been?. Personally i think the issue is more about disclosure than security but i still wanted to see said file, great, but the write up on their page is for Mac nerds.So here's a quick 'work around' for Windows users, you'll need...

Firefox (FF 4 friendly)
The SQL Lite Plug In
GPSBabel (optional,used to create KML file)
A Google account to view Map

Firstly navigate to the iPhones backup folder which on Windows Vista is usually here...

C:\Users\*user*\AppData\Roaming\Apple Computer\MobileSync\Backup

Now in this folder there may be several folders with long numbered names (i only had one), if you check the details you should navigate into the newest one. Then open info.plist with a text editor, it's reasonably readable and you should find an entry near the top which gives the Device Name for your iPhone. (this is just to confirm it's the folder for your device, to look at anyone elses data would just be plain rude).

Now in the original Mac write up there's a way to determine which of the many obscurely numbered files in that folder is the (location) consolidated.db file, with Windows this doesn't appear to be forthcoming so some trial and error is in order. First i listed the files by size, biggest first (click on size on top line), Then open up Firefox and the SQL Lite plug in (it should be in options menu).

Now attempt to open the files one by one using 'Connect Database' (the little folder icon), make sure you have 'File Names' drop down menu set to 'all files' in explorer bar to see them.You'll probably get a Error message for the first few....

*Update* i've been led to believe the relevant file begins with the numbers 4096... (hat tip Owen)

but keep going (i think mine was the fourth file down the list ) and hopefully...

The good stuff is under 'CellLocation' (in the Browse & Search' Tab)

(I blacked my stuff out but stalkers can still find me on FourSquare).This can be exported to an XML file, the 'to do' now being to convert it to an KML file and view the numbers as a map (i'm not bleedin' Keanu Reeves you know!!)

Midge

*Update* re' viewing on Google Maps: There's probably easier/better ways to do this but if you go the 'Execute SQL' Tab in SQL Lite and enter...

SELECT Latitude,longitude FROM CellLocation

followed by 'Run SQL' you'll get a Table of just the Latitude/Longitude readings, which can then be saved as an .csv file (manually add a row with lat/lon column headings in a spreadsheet (eg. Google Docs))

Using the ('free') GPSBabel program you can then then convert this into a KML 'Google Earth Keyhole Markup Language' file (it's a relatively intuitive program)...

*Errata* Use 'Universal csv with field structure in first line' instead of the plain 'Comma seperated values' shown in picture below

Then it's just a quick wonder over to Google maps, create new map and import the KML file to view the locations.

*UPDATE* If your familiar with Google Fusion tables you can import the KML file into that to view as a map as well (hatip Ian)

Now be prepared to be very disappointed, the locations appear to be very vague and certainly don't have the Big Brotherish accuracy which everyones banging on about.

Mrmr Open Sound Control Client to Arduino

2011-04-13T20:15:00.003+01:00

This quick project was mainly a proof of concept for someone else but here's a fuzzy video and some info.

Using the Mrmr iPhone app to create an Open Sound Control client which talks to Processing, which then talks to the Arduino, which then lights some (mismatched) LEDs.
(Sending a Byte of data to control Port B.)

Mrmr app can be found here
mrmr.noisepages.com/

Code can be found here with Osc_EX prefix (there's some notes in the comments)
pastebin.com/u/Midge

Circuit is just four LEDs connected to Pins 8 to 11 with 1K resistors.

This blog post is just offered as a quick reference (and somewhere to dump the video). I can't really enter into any technical discussions, there's plenty of info out there but here's a couple of tips...

Always check the Mrmr client is talking to the Same Port that Processing is listening to.
Make sure you change the addrPatterns in the 'If' statements.
Check your Firewall, they can sometimes block OSC signals.
Mrmr console was transfered by connecting iPhone to PC using XAMPP as a server (put file into htdocs folder)

KCLErrorDomain Error 1 'Fix' for Twitter iPhone App.

2010-12-15T14:24:00.005Z

I've had my iPhone all of two weeks now and to be honest i'm woefully underusing it's potential awesomeness, Twittering inanities and FourSquaring every trip to the pub from it is currently about my limit. Now i'm one of those A**** retentative types who likes to see things work properly and loses much needed beauty sleep when they don't so i was bit miffed/panic stricken recently to see this when i tried to send an important Tweet...

The Operation could not be completed kCLErrorDomain error 1

Googling didn't come up with apart from a few people experiencing the same but if my befuddled understanding is correct i *think* the problem is this. The program suddenly seems to think it's ok to use Location/geolcate services even though you've turned them off in Twitter app settings and 'trips up' when denied access (i first experienced it after accessing a Foursquare site via a Twitter link) the 'fix' seems to be resetting this feature by....

Go to iPhone General settings and turn on the Location Services for Twitter App (this will only be temporary).
Open the Twitter app and create new Tweet (you won't be sending this, it's a dummy).
Tap on extras button bottom right and tap geolcate,it should now pinpoint your position.
Re-tap geolocate to switch it back off.
Close Twitter app.
Reset Location Services to off in settings.

This hopefully should now have fixed the problem. Many apologies if it didn't, donations and praise if it did :)

(* i'll be jiggered if i'm using the word Anal in a blog post, that's just asking for trouble)

Stalking The Shend

2010-09-27T22:30:00.002+01:00

Flicking through yet another half read copy of Bizarre magazine today i notices the Shend is back contributing to their pages via the medium of the written word. "The Shend who?" you may ask, if you're a Tellybox owner you just may know him as an extra who typically plays thug #2 in such dramatic delights as The Bill, Eastenders,Casualty and had a speaking part in Men Behaving Badly as 'man in bar who insults Dorothy and gets beaten up by Gary'. Sci-Fi nuts may know him from Red Dwarf (the tail end of the series when it wasn't very good) and TorchWood (They Keep Killing Suzie). Film afficianados may know him from a shit load of other varied stuff.
Me, well i know him as the lead singer of one of the Midlands (well Redditch anyhoo) finest eclectic musical exports The Cravats. Memories of first hearing 'Cravats In ToyTown' in the early Eighties with it's Dadaist lyrics and Daliesque saxophones was epic listening indeed after my usual diet of G.B.H washed down with cheap lager,egg fried rice in it's foil container and The Exploited.
But i digress, my reason for this outpouring is simply it's Monday night and i'm bored!! so i thought i'd see what the amazing electronic interlinker could turn up on the big beardy renaissance man.

Shend's Myspace (Well everyone who's anyone has a Myspace) still in use by looks of it

Shend's FaceBook

Cravats Website (a Bravenet relic)

The Very Things Myspace (again still in use)

Shend's Showreel ,(some gaps here including his part in Pervirella with cult TV babe Emily Booth)

Shends Podcasts, Yes he has a Radio show :)

Shend performing with KroonCat lounge nights.

Shend in the 118 118 sponsored ITV4 station ident.

and by way of a half arsed coda a Google Image Search :)

More to follow....

Geeky Advent Rehash.

2010-05-06T23:44:00.019+01:00

Well ok, it's five months late but here's is my rushed take on tinkerlog's Geeky Advent widget (instructions here) the interesting quirk with these things being the way an LED is used as a light sensor. I've built it using an ATtiny85 instead of the ATtiny13 which requires a tweak to the code to allow for the slight differences in the ADC registers...

ADC Reference voltage

ADMUX = ( 1 << REFS2 ) | ( 1 << REFS1 ) | ADC2; //internal ref 2.56v, sense on PB4

ADC clock prescaler

ADCSRA = ( 1 << ADEN ) | 7;

prescale set to 7 (divide by 128) as i'm led to 'believe' it improves accuracy if the main chip clock is set to 8Mhz

Fuses set to switch off chip prescaler.
avrdude -c < Your Programmer > -p t85 -U lfuse:w:0xe2:m -U hfuse:w:0xdf:m -U efuse:w:0xff:m

Seems to work ok but may need some tweaking to the 'AMBIENT_LIGHT' variable.
not demonstrated is that the LED's light up one LED, Two LED's, Three LED's, Four LED's on each reset, (apologies for blurry video but i'm using a crap digital camera)

Hacking Car Boot Sales.

2010-05-03T16:50:00.005+01:00

What's that?, £3.60 for a thumb joystick!?, i'll not line their pockets says i. So it's off to the great British insitution that is the car boot sale. I managed to pick up two Playstation controllers for the reasonable price of one whole quid (actually the one on the right was a quid, the guy let me have the Sony one for nicks as it had a button missing). Back home and after some deft work with a soldering iron i now have four two axis joysticks (complete with switches), four electric motors , two preset potentiometers AND an LED.That works out about 10p a component, a good days work allround methinks.

The Old PC PSU to Bench Supply Hack.

2010-04-03T14:46:00.015+01:00

Yep, a million and one Instructables on the internet on this old hack so i thought i'd add mine to the pool. Started with a cast off Aopen FSP300-60PN power supply and...

5 Amp Terminal block from a pound shop (cheapskate!).
A 10 Ohm 10 Watt Wire Round Resistor (for Load which 'may' be optional).
HeatShrink Sleeving to insulate exposed solder joints.
Switch.
Couple of cable ties.

Then just followed the instructions . Note the hole above the switch...Measure Twice, Cut Once!, i knew the fan had some depth but didn't check it properly when i drilled the first hole. I've kept the Grey PWR_OK wire for possible inclusion of an LED later (Imho the fan spinning round is a pretty good indicator it's on).It's main use is for low current electronics and it has built in short circuit protection so i've omitted any fuses on the outputs which some other hacks use. The label was quickly knocked up with Inkscape.
TO DO... some mesh over the fan, it's just begging for some tiny bit's of wire cut off to be 'sucked' in.

DISCLAIMER bit, you've read them elsewhere, here's mine...
The voltages inside a PSU are potentially lethal and the power capacitors can have quite a kick EVEN AFTER THE MAINS HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED AND THE UNIT SWITCHED OFF!. Do not attempt this hack unless you know what you are doing. I'll take no responsibilty for anything.

Disabling ProCon Latte

2010-03-23T20:48:00.014Z

Note: this post is for educational purposes only, i'll not take any responsibility for anything.

So you've come in to work Monday morning only to find someone's installed the ProCon Latte web filter add-on on Firefox, now you can't check up on FaceBook statuses, the new bands on MySpace, the trivia on Twitter or those adult art sites that no-one else understands but you. You can't uninstall it from Add-ons, Procon itself in 'Tools' is password protected and about:config is disabled, what to do...what to do?
Simple...

Shut down Firefox.
Go to your programs menu and start FireFox up in Safe Mode (just click continue in safe mode at the pop-up).
Type about:config into address bar (click on i'll be careful i Promise)
In Filter field type procon.password then enter, (you should now see a single line with a long series of characters at the end).
Right click on it and click on Reset in the pop up menu,it should now say 'default string').
Restart FireFox normally.

Now if you click on Procon in the Tools menu it should pop right open, you can now uncheck 'Prevent Being Disabled Or Uninstalled' and remove it entirely via FireFox's Add-Ons menu.

A Quick Piece About The TV B Gone On Stripboard

2010-03-20T12:44:00.014Z

Well as you may or may not know i dabble (and fiddle) in Electronics & Microcontrollers so after having met the US hackers Mitch Altman/Jimmie Rodgers at a Fizzpop workshop and successfully built a AVR ISP programmer i thought i'd have a bash at making a TV B Gone on stripboard from scratch. Here it be (well attempt #2 t.b.h) , the main circuit was pretty much built 'on the fly' with a homebrew LED driver being a PNP transistor powering 2x IR emitters in series (my calculations are a bit ballpark so it's probably under powered). Does the job though, just a shame the 3xAA batteries that power it dwarf it and spoil the illusion hence them being cropped out the picture.

(PS: The ongoing competition in geek circles with these things appears to be in ever increasing the range, so hang around for the TV-B-Gone bazooka, coming to a Nielsen box near you soon!)

Ghouls on Film*

2010-02-21T13:18:00.018Z

You know that uneasy feeling you get when you walk around the Custard Factory 'will the brickwork finally fall on my head?', 'will i go through that hole in the rickety boardwalk?', 'how rank will the toilets be today?'. Well Saturday bought a whole new world of pain to the venue with the arrival of the Ghouls On Film event at The Mixing Bowl, part of the international Women in Horror appreciation month. Put together by film student Nia Edwards-Behi we were treated to a smorgas board of Gore and weirdness featuring several short films and two full length features, 'Slaughtered' and 'Dead Hooker In a Trunk' (which unfortunately i had to miss). The popcorn intermission included a Q&A session with Directors Melanie Light (Switch) and Kate Glover compared by the delectable scream queen Emily Booth (i got the stage fright and didn't speak to her) which included enlightning views on women making their way in the scream flick business and Castration Anxiety. You couldn't wish for a more blood drenched way to spend an afternoon and it's a pity you don't see more of these events around Birmingham (though The Sunflower Lounge and The Black Horse are starting to do B-Movie nights) especially at the underused Mixing Bowl. Happily the outlook isn't as bleak as the films subject matter,as Emily pointed the equipment costs and technical nous needed to make shorts is rapidly becoming within everyones reach so with a bit of luck Ghouls on Film will be back next year with a bigger roster of new talent.

* i was trying to think of a witty title but if it ain't broke don't fix it

My Crap Jewellery part two

2009-12-03T15:02:00.006Z

#2 in an occasional series of whatever.

U.S.A 1925 Ring Ahh, Glastonbury 1989, the sights, the smells, the music, the relentless Trustafarians trying to sell you over priced Special Brew. Amongst the Melee sits this 'Street' hawker native American Indian guy with his blanket of wares. The 9% proof tramp fuel and extra curricular substances work their magic and i walk away with this for the bargain price of one whole quid. I have absolutely no idea of the significance of 'U.S.A 1925', i found him there a year later but his command of English (or intolerance of inquisitive gadgies) didn't lead to the path of enlightenment and Google has since turned up nothing. Had it Twenty years, the embossing's worn and sadly the 'arms' are wearing quite thin so i'm not sure how much longer it's going to last 9/10

Crap Jewellery part One

2009-12-03T14:55:00.005Z

#1 in an occasional series of whatever.

Gyroscope Bangle Being a bit of a science geek as a kid i used to have one of those Gyroscope things (surely magically held in the vertical by Satan himself) much fun had trying to knock it over/balancing it on that little plastic Eiffel tower widget (gawd knows what that was all about). Well some years later whilst having a clear out, i didn't find the Gyroscope but i did find the metal guard thing that used to sit around the flywheel, perfect size, straight on wrist. Very durable, never broken, never loses it's shape (accessorised with a keyring) 8/10.

Premature Obituaries

2009-10-07T11:24:00.006+01:00

In these fast moving digitally 'enlightened' times where people aren't sure of what's in, what's out and which haircut is cooler it's easy to get influenced (bullied even) by new media Snake Oil salesman. Now having had an interest in the early DIY nature of Punk my two particular bugbears are the musings from people who really should know better that a) 'Myspace is dead' and b) the demise of print media is imminent.So today i switch on my Twitter feed (you REALLY have to be on Twitter) and in the space of ten minutes get two links which restore my faith in the common man and the fact that life will always find a way.

This Piece by Kristian Carter (about Myspace) and This piece by the Unsigned Guide about 'Zine culture.

I really suggest you read them back to back.

(ps: oh, and there's also this piece by The Blackbeard Blog also about Myspace where i've left some of my thoughts in the comments))

Bemoof The Cromolls!!

Costermongers Last Stand.

2009-08-11T15:21:00.003+01:00

Truth be known it's been a shadow of its former self for some years and long gone are the days when come Saturdays it was packed to the rafters but it's still sad to see the Costemongers pub finally closing it's door. If you know me at all you'll know my infamous diminutive stature pre empted me from underage drinking but it can't have been long into my (alleged) adulthood before i was introduced to the delights of this dingy basement rock saturated haven. This was before all day drinking (yes, there was such a time) so typically it'd be down Mr Bills Beerkeller* on Needless Alley on the afternoon and then onto to The Costers on the night for more sickly pints of Snakebite n' Black (a pre alchopop alchopop affectionately known as Diesel amongst the Motorcycle inclined).
Since then it's been through several refits, numerous wall coverings and outstayed it's many 'characters' but it never lost the dinge (you just cannot repel the dinge) which has cemented it in legend as one of Brum rock fraternities favorite long lost drinking holes.
So Saturday sees the end of an era to which i'm happy i had a passing acquaintance with leaving us with about two or three suitable backups which in a hygiene obsessed world will never achieve the same level of sleaze and piss flooded glory as the Costers, basement bars will just never seem the same again.

More disturbingly there's rumours that as part of the whole redevelopment of that block the Oasis is next for the chop, now there's another former shopping themed haven of dinge that surely deserves a Blue plaque preservation order!!.

PS On saturday as a last bash there's a bunch of bands so you can see the old warhorse off in a fitting style Click Here for details

*Both basement pubs and now both gone!!

Why Isn't Anyone Else Doing It ?

2009-07-21T12:17:00.010+01:00

As you may or may not know (or in fact even care) i tend to slog my lonely ass around many of Birmingham's finer Punk/Rock venues (ie The Wagon and Horses, Scruffy Murphys, Costermongers, The Flapper and once upon a time The Market Tavern and The Royal George (opposite Selfridges)) to get a three chord fix of your louder type of entertainment. The always constant thing in this environment is the surviving DIY network of badly Xeroxed flyers being bandied about which typically end up, ink running in a puddle of Special Brew (or Frosty Jack) but still keep the scene and people connected. So then in a blinding flash of boredom vs. inspiration i thinks well why not start a Punk related Twitter listing account, twenty minutes later i have Twitter.com/BrumPunks* complete with hastily Inkscaped graphics and everything. It's quick, it's dirty, takes about ten minutes a day to run and two seconds to follow, perfect for the Slacker trying to get a handle on Social Media (which i'm STILL not convinced about) so why not?. Why?, because Business Studies 101 declares you should do your market research first, Punks can actually be a very conservative bunch in their tastes and it appears not many have strayed from Mypace and even fewer have stumbled onto other networks (indeed why should they, but that's for another post). I'm constantly searching Twitter with various combinations of punk/venue/band related words and have found Three likely candidates in Brum (hi if your reading) and not much else. So stage two it's off to Osbornes for some sticky paper,onto the printer and then Myspace Bulletins to try and drum up some trade lesson learnt that sometimes setting up stuff on the interwebs can be too bloody easy!.

* Even though i set it up i'll be the first to admit i'm not the best person to be running this site, i can think of several 'embedded' tech' savvy Punksters who could be doing the job better.

The Rainbow and 'Social Media' Revised

2009-06-20T10:54:00.016+01:00

If you live in or around Digbeth (Birmingham) you'll probably be well aware of the threat to local venues such as The Spotted Dog and The Rainbow due to noise abatement orders being served. The whole issue is quite involved but whichever way you cut it up the damage this could do to the vibrancy of an on the rise Digbeth is not to be underestimated. So last night (19/06) saw the gathering of the outraged for an update on the whole debacle, an impassioned Kent took the stage and gave a rousing speech to the impressive turnout followed by an equally indignant John Tighe of The Spotted Dog (see below). It was fantastic to see the differing cultural sides of Digbeth (the 'old' and the 'new') uniting to stand their ground over what most right thinking people perceive as unfair bureaurocracy (i was just just a bit miffed Kent didn't take up his his boxing gloves and march us round 'there' to have it out in the streets but hey, what y' gonna do?). Double Kudos to the guy who raised his hand and admitted he worked for the planning department and then described the sorry state as "a joke", tbh though i doubt if he'd have got away with his nadgers intact if he had said anything elsewise such was the mood.
The whole issue is likely to be covered in more detail by the ever vigilant Nicky of Digbeth Is Good infamy and others but the point of this post is just to mention how the affair has slightly skewed my perception of Social Media tools. I think it's fair to say i'm pretty sceptical of such things as Blogging/Twitter and usually just see them as an interesting distraction. However last night to see the show of support that had been built from online 'activism' such as the FaceBook campaign made choke on my smugness a bit. I was just cursing my bad fortune that this type of technology wasn't around when pubs like The Fiddle and Bone were under a similar threat (yes, i know there's a bit more to that story) and i felt the best i could do was write an 'angry' letter to The Evening Mail (which got published btw).
So now the wait starts to see how the whole affair pans out, if the online campaigning and support really can make that difference i might just have to reevaluate my opinions of other gimmicky gadgets such as camera phones!.

Rainbow Meeting - Kent Davis from Pete Ashton.

Rainbow Meeting - John Tighe from Pete Ashton.

KEEP DIGBETH VIBRANT!

Democracy Whore

2009-06-02T12:04:00.006+01:00

In light of the recent revelations levelled at the shower of bastards that deem themselves fit to run the country my vote for the upcoming European election is up for auction.donations here (don't forget to mention who you are!)...
(Note: offer closes Midnight, Wedsnesday 3rd June)

All Quiet On The Digbeth Front

2009-05-13T12:52:00.003+01:00

Yeah, the update rate of this blog is really tailing off but truth is either not much is happening or other people are doing a better job of writing things up. I did manage the Eccentric Auction last night, more fun and games with Harry Palmer et al attracting exceptional bids on mundane bric a brac. No Zine's this time but did manage to grab some back issues of the Eccentric times (signed no less and with rare postcards and Audio CD). Workwise Urban Village has returned in yet another incarnation (it's Sixth) at the General Stores market,Custard Factory. Plenty of vintage stuff to be had, just spare a thought for the backroom boy who gets Raynauds in his fingers sorting through all that Nylon and Polyester. Downside is the future of the DVD shop is in doubt, news to follow [Edit: apparently it's reopening 1st June].
Blog wise i've kindly been given a log-in to Fizzpop (Birmingham hackerspace) to contribute some stuff concerning the Arduino microcontroller. Funny thing is i never considered myself a 'Hacker' until following up on Fizzpops inspirations but now realise i've been taking stuff apart to see 'how it works' and tweaking it since ought six (typically upping output power on CB' radios ~81). Unfortunately it just brings home a) what an idiot i was for pissing away my degree b) should have done Physics joint with something useful (ideally Electronics). Anyhoo enough already with the whining, now to try and scrounge enough cash together to make at least ONE festival this year. All the best Midge

Smoking Ban Real Estate Bollocks!

2009-04-26T00:15:00.004+01:00

It slowly dawned on me today there's new smoking ban pub etiquette emerging. Once upon a time in a busy boozer if someone walked out of the door it was game over, all the real estate they sat on and occupied was up for grabs. Now it seems it's not so simple, a couple of times now i've parked myself on their seat only to have them come back 10 min's later with protestations of 'only going outside for a fag'. Markmiwordz the first tabloid 'stolen seat fag rage' incident is imminenet.

Yaaarr!! Y' Scurvy Dogs!

2009-04-05T14:58:00.004+01:00

What's the world coming to when a Pop Up Pirate can't enjoy a tot of Rum in peace without being pilfered.

A Frootless Custard?

2009-03-24T13:25:00.009Z

Not sure of the details yet but it looks like Custard Factory staple eaterie Rooty Frooty's has bitten the credit crunch bullet. Pretty sad as it always had that relaxed 'Bohemian' atmosphere much loved of that 'Creative' crowd especially in the Summer when you could sit around the pool (remembering not to drink the water) and take advantage of the Sun (remember that) and free Wi-Fi. So now all you've got is 'The Kitchen' which i find really sterile and Yumm which i'm told does great food but no interior seating and definitely no Rod spinning Northern Soul obscurities. Coupled with the building work currently going on i'm wondering why people would want to make the effort to come down in the week at all which can't be good for the handful of traders left. On a positive note it looks like the Newsagent is nearly ready to go (hopefully with cash point and catfood) which will hopefully keep things ticking over till Summer and the opening of the expanded flea market. In the meantime that'll be me, drinking the Kitchen's 'tea' sitting on the bandstand watching the beer bottles float by and wondering where the new Custard Factory's 'hangout' will be.

ps: feel a bit of a shit now for rarely eating the food there cos' it all looked a bit 'funky'

St Patrick's Day Prohibition

2009-03-17T20:08:00.006Z

Attended my first Birmingham St Patrick's day parade this year EVER (the shame!). Actually quite impressed, great turnout and even better weather shining down on the Green and White togged throng. The real baffling thing though was the Councils (last minute) decision to bar drinks into the stage area (St Patrocks)*!?. So, witness the live spectacle of The Destroyers, Neck (ex Shane McGowan & the Popes) and The Scarlot Harlots with not a drop to be taken past the precious barriers. Understandably the turnout was pretty poor but still a good time appeared to be had by all despite.
OK, it was the first year they've tried a live stage like this but still it isn't good enough, thousands of people seemed to pack Digbeth every year (and especially the Custard Factory) without resorting to hoying the plastic glasses at each other, were the music goers considered untrustworthy?.
Here's to next year with hopefully a beer sodden music event.

*you'll notice there's some lasses in the photo with drinks but that was some subtefuge on their part.

Blogging Senna Pod

2009-03-17T19:46:00.005Z

Well it seems the simple solution to struggling with full blog posts is to dabble with short blog posts. So now i have a Tumblr site which i wish i'd started months back. More of a scrapbooky affair than a regular blog but at least you can keep it ticking over with regular snippets of stuff without having to worry about composing proper pieces of 'cod journalism'. Should add it's a bit more of a trashy affair than this site but what the hey, at least it keeps me off the streets :).

Blogging Constipation

2009-03-11T11:13:00.008Z

Maybe it's just the time of year, that bit when the Winter doldrums slowly turn to Spring and y' think will we have a Summer AT ALL this year but my blog rate (posts/month) has dropped right off. You'd think that a general blog with no specific agenda would be easy to fill up with random stuff and trivia but apparently not (maybe a Sheldon blog hain't such a bad idea :)). I'm thinking (hoping in fact) that it's possibly because i'm not working as much now (slacker habits die hard) and not getting to engage with people and see enough stuff . Posting matters are further complicated when the one sentiment that has been bubbling at the back of my head was suddenly crystalised perfectly into words by somebody else (Michael Grimes of Citizensheep infamy), hope he doesn't mind if i quote two sentences which leapt right off the page...

"If I had something to catalogue, or a hobby, that would be great. But I’m too lazy, distractable and easily put off to stick at anything."

"My problems are two-fold: I don’t know what I want, and I never finish anything."

(a bit misleading as i happen to know he's not lazy and certainly does apply to and finish things ie, Big City Plan).

So, what to do?. I think it's just a case of reinstating some New Years resolution stuff like getting the bike out, Sorting job out, getting away for a bit (maybe to some festivals (even if it's just the Bulldog)) or maybe getting my Poker account out of mothballs.

Short term though i think i'll give the St Patricks day parade a spin which i don't think i've EVER been to (the shame!). Maybe i'll get some inspiration there :).

Melon farmers *

2009-03-03T21:03:00.011Z

Another slack week for me so it was off to Wolverhampon for 'In The Realm Of The Censors' talk at the Lighthouse. Interesting couple of hours presented by film examiner Ian Mashiah of the BBFC on the machinations of film ~~censorship~~ classification and the complications they face when bestowing age limits on films, TV and video games.
So... pop quiz hotshot, the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan vs. the whipping scene in The Passion Of Christ , Sex scene in Team America : World Police vs. Sutherland and Christies romp in Don't Look Now and (a 10 yr old) Bart Simpson skateboarding naked down the street in The Simpsons movie. What do you do? what DO you do?. Mashiah explained exactly what they did and how they used BBFC guidelines and legal counsel to come to their decisions (and how they faced criticism from Christian groups who felt the 18 classification was to high for 'the greatest story ever told'). A job not made any easier with the rapidly changing moral and cultural climate 'F' word acceptable nowadays, 'C' word still not?. I couldn't help but feel it was a bit of a PR job (not enough examples of them getting it wrong) but stacked against the studio backed American MPAA system i think they came out looking pretty 'firm but fair' . The real Elephant in the room still looms large and grey though, in the rapidly changing world of global media delivery where i'll be able to stream ANY film from ANYWHERE in the world straight to my digital watch isn't this organisations days numbered?.

PS: nothing more amusing than academics using the 'C' word and people nodding along knowledgably.

pps: not sure if the 'hand job' scene from The Ketchup Effect was included to demonstrate the BBFC and POCA guidelines or just make the cinema go 'Ouch!'

* a reference to one of my favourite 'censorship' stories

Fiddle and Bone Round 2

2009-02-19T15:06:00.006Z

Picture courtesy of the Birmingham Post

Same story, different year. Another (in)famous Brum live venue The Rainbow, Digbeth is to face the chop due to noise complaints. It's baffling that someone would buy a residence that was sold to them as being in a 'vibrant city centre location' and then bitch when they realise the vibrancy doesn't work 9 to 5 hours!. Birmingham regulars will have seen this depressing tale unfold before in the late 90's with Jazz/Blues live venue The Fiddle and Bone, unfortunately many letters to MP's and the press came to nought and now that place stands like some beer themed Marie Celeste. The Rainbow story could be more devastating as it sets a presidence for the whole of Digbeth's future in The Big City Plan. Watch This Space!!.

On The Silver Screen At Last.

2009-02-08T12:14:00.006Z

Finally my long overdue big screen debut at the Home Of Metal exhibition, Birmingham art gallery. If i'd known they were gonna use it i would of smiled more, done 'crazy fingers' and tried not to look like i was gonna punch the photographer (Steve Gerrard).

ARGs ain't so AARRrggghh!!

2009-01-30T00:20:00.022Z

Dinosaurs courtesy of the first Barg Alt. pass the parcel.

So through my new Twitter universe came this emerging buzz about a new forming Birmingham ARG group (#BARG hashtag). Now i'm not going to bother to try to define exactly what Alternative Reality Games are or even point you at an ARG website because i feel that would be pointless* (and confusing) suffice to say i tagged along out of curiosity. The fascinating thing was to be in a Digbeth backstreet pub room of about 20 people discussing the vague concept of games which appear to not be games (another ARG concept which has to be witnessed first hand) played out within different layers of 'reality' (the tangible, the digital, the artistic, the imagined, etc) slowly the fog starts to clear. When Benjamin (Not Brum) did his talk on his many intense ARG experiences and the fact that on an informed hunch he'd took a day trip to New York to desecrate a chunk of Central Park suddenly it became a bit clearer about what could possibly develop. So we shall see what we shall see but as one guy said 'it would be great to be in at the beginning'.

PS: In a few months if you're walking through Digbeth and get accosted by a 'Peaky Blinder' don't panic, ARG has just hernia'd into your reality.

*Yeah, ok i give in, here some pointers...

Barg the initial Brum 'is anyone out there' ARG post.
Futurelab's take on ARGs.
GiantMice take on ARGs.
Mirlando's take on ARGs.
Maquerade The 70's 'treasure hunt' game with clues hidden within a book leading to a Golden Hare
Perplex city
SFZero ARG based around San Francisco.
The Beast ARG based around Steven Spielberg's A.I.
Year Zero ARG based around the Nine Inch Nails album of the same name.
Rider Spoke ARG on bikes using GPS technology and such.
Hide And Seek an ARG variant on the popular parlour game.
GeoCaching I think this falls within the realm of ARGs?.
I Love Bees i'm led to believe this page is not what it first appears to be!?.
World Without Oil an ARG which addressed a real world issue (ARGs as problem solving).
Flickr a game? slightly offtopic concept that games are all around you.
All The Above Are Wrong?.

(Not sure if it has any relevance but ~20 years back i bought a copy of James P Carse's 'Finite and Infinite Games', there was a similar vein of defining games, rules and players running through that, i'll probably give that another read.)

That Brum Bloggers '7 Things You May Not Know' bit

2009-01-28T20:23:00.006Z

I thought the sidebar 'About Me' bit would suffice for this blog but then Nicky 'DiG' Getgood nominated me (amongst others) as a participant in the '7 Things You May Not Know About Me' chain mail currently doing the rounds. Usually i give things like this a wide birth but then i'd feel like a complete heel for not joining in, so in no particular order...

I play Guitar and IMHO play it quite well but have never got it together to play in an actual 'proper' band despite several opportunities to do so. Actually i can usually get a tune out of anything with strings and am now hankerin' after a Double Bass.

I occasionally get swamped by Black clouds of Existentialist 'who am i, where am i going, what's the point of it all' angst but they usually blow over in a few hours

When i was about 16/17 i gave up Chocolate because i had half a dozen spots and i haven't touched so much as a flake of the Cocoa beany confectionary since. Thing is i really miss it, the thought of the combined taste sensation of a Twix and a packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps is making my mouth water as i type.

My one real 'wake's you up in the middle of the night' regret is that i pissed away the final year of my Physics degree at Coventry University . It wouldn't of taken a huge deal of effort to get at least a passing grade but i just let it go. I feel i let a few people down.

Several years back i was alarmed to find what i thought was a bad case of saddle soreness was actually a mild case of Hemmoroids.

I'm a terrible hoarder, i loathe to throw things away because "you never know, it may come in handy". In ten years time i will be that bloke on the news found decomposing under a collapsed pile of newspapers and used kitty litter. In my defence though it can come in handy as some of my old Sounds papers ended up in the Birmingham Home Of Metal project (i'm credited in the program).

I currently have Three proper tattoos and three tiny DIY ones. One of my studio jobs is of Hunt Emerson's Calculus Cat (with a 'mistake' so i got it for free) and the one on my lower leg i'm not totally happy with so i'm looking to get it embellished.

Now i'm supposed to nominate Seven people/bloggers to carry on this letter but such is the exponential nature of such things everybody i know's been taken?. If you're reading this and you haven't done one yet you are now obliged to do so (if you don't do it within Seven days there will be Seven plagues of crapness visited on all your houses :) ).

The Revolution Convenes at The Three Horseshoes

2009-01-24T15:59:00.007Z

Taped to the wall outside the now defunct Woolworths. I've Googled it but i have no idea what this group is or stands for (Nation Awesome, NDN?), i didn't realise sleepy Sheldon was such a hot bed of activism. Even more suprising it's been there unmolested for about four days.

Big City Plan vs Joe Public

2009-01-19T22:19:00.003Z

Just in the nick of time The Big City has been translated into proper English just like what you and me speak. The first thing that beggars belief is that a PUBLIC consultation document needed to be rewritten in the first place?. Kudos to Jon Bounds, Nick Booth, Nicky Getgood, Julia Gilbert and Michael Grimes for having the patience to wade through the Councilese gibberish and produce something that Joe Public could actually get involved with AND comment on. The trick now is to get this 'unofficial' version out there, plenty of buzz on Twitter and Blogsites already which once again puts the Councils B.C.P publicity 'drive' to shame (y' know, those placards 10ft up a lampost).

The Dufus Epiphany

2009-01-18T13:58:00.003Z

Have you ever had that moment when someone you look up to and respect does (or says) something that makes you realise 'Hey, this guy is as big a misguided bluffer as i am' ?

Country Punkins

2009-01-16T19:37:00.005Z

I'll have a wander down to the Wagon, Digbeth Saturday night for my regular fix of noise and attitude but the real diamond here is lurking at the bottom of the bill , Bo Pilar and the Mountain Valley Boys. Alt-Country shenanighans well worth the £2:00 door tax alone. Here's a ropey Youtube clip as a taster.

(if you see me buy me a drink, i'm nearly skint)

FIRE!!!

2009-01-09T13:19:00.008Z

Have i ever mentioned that there's no better smell than that of burning wood in a real fire (reminds me of bothying in the Scottish highlands). So to find a boozer in Digbeth's backstreets that had an open hearth full of crackling pallets was just heaven. I'd tell you where this paradise is but the picture would probably be used as evidence and i'd be labelled as Brums Smokeless Zone nark weasel!.

2009 Blueprint

2008-12-31T14:00:00.003Z

Plans for 2009...

Get Some Frickin' Direction In Life!
Do 'Cult' Book Stall At Custard Factory Flea Market y' Keep Bangin' On About.
Move Blog Over To Self Hosted Site.
Do At Least One Festival...
... And At Least One Holiday.
Buy Camera That Actually Focuses.
Be More Awesome.
Be More Assertive.
Be More Creative.
Socialise More (with people!).
Get Bike Out More.
See If You Can Get Facebook To Actually 'Work'.

List to be edited up to Midnight December 31st, attempted till May, Ignored and deleted by June

Hmm, Is Google a U or an R18 ?

2008-12-27T12:04:00.010Z

Through the fog of a post Boxing day hangover i've just read of the Culture Secratary Andy Burnham's proposal to classify Websites. Frickin' ridiculous idea which blatantly seems to overlook how the Internet works and how 'net savvy 'the kids' are!. The recurring theme of legislation like this is simple...

Smoke and mirrors!!. A tactic which just gives the illusion that Governments are tackling a 'problem' when it maybe could of been dealt with by existing legislation (but never is).

Now expecting M. Byers and his Mediawatch bland of the few to jump on bandwagon and totally miss the fact that...

The internet is not a Fancy TV, Big library, or expansive Gallery, it's the Internet pure and simple, equally useful & dangerous place as a Motorway, you quite simply wouldn't let unsupervised children anywhere near it.

{Edit} A frickin' culture secratary that knows nowt about the Internet, give me a break

Wagon Spiel

2008-12-21T12:18:00.012Z

After the demise of the Royal George donkeys years back and the sad loss of the Market Tavern last year i didn't think there'd be much small venue Punk style noise to be had northside of the City Centre*. But lo and behold this 'Summer' i stumbled across The Wagon and Horses pub in Digbeth (Adderley St ), perfect sized venue then for 'The Brum Punx Picnic 2008'. An old style boozer with ~100 capacity upstairs function room complemented by a decent sized beer garden (covered in a stroke of genius by a large army surplus tent), staffed by efficient friendly bar staff and stocking some half decent beer. With a regular roster of faces and some great gigs reminscent of The Tavern's best (including a packed Drongo's suprise show at the Picnic) it's one of those places you'd like to see better publicised but then bitch when it gets too popular. Hopefully it can survive the upcoming redevelopments which are threatening to put the kybosh on other (well established) Digbeth music venues and i'll get to see a few more 'Picnics' and take a few more snaps before 'Eastside' rolls right over it (oh, and there's a really cute resident scruffy pooch to).

Should mention that it also puts on 'straight', discos, Ska nights and such so there's a bit of something for everyone plus it's conveniently close to the Coventry Road bus stops so getting home is relatively hassle free.

KEEP DIGBETH NOISY!

I'm A Mess at the Vegan Prisoners Benefit gig

*(special mention for the GO! Club at The Old Wharf, mainly indie stuff but they do put on some good 'heavier' nights)

(NB: Midge D does not work for the brewery!)

Just A Peasant In The Big City (Plan)...

2008-12-13T11:41:00.012Z

...see what i did there*.

Still haven't had time to digest Birmingham's Big City Plan consultation document yet so instead i've decided to amalgamate the brief Tweets i did yesterday drop in a couple of quick comments and then probably clarify them later if i can be arsed...

Big City Plan? neck out, overall good thing but BIG, Reinventing Birmingham is gonna be a long and costly job,not sure council has cahuna's
Speaks for itself really, the problem is this plan is BIG, i'm not sure if this (or any Council) can actually pull this ambitious project off.

The whole thing needs some HUGE P.R to get Joe Public involved (y' know, those people not on 'net and Twitter)
In Councils defence a pullout appeared in Thursdays Evening Mail which is a good start, i'd hate to see something like this just thrashed out by I.T literate keyboard jockeys.

'CREATE LOCAL' good idea (but you can have too many paintings)

'LIVE LOCAL' as family city, would these be developments for 'Locals'
a personal bugbear, rejuvination certainly, redevelopment which includes bulldozing over present communities certainly not. As regards to bringing families into the Centre i'll just Cut n' Paste the response i left on Birmingham It's Not Shits forum
There’s enough issues to be discussed re: The Big City Plan to keep people talking to at least Feb 6th (end of consultation period). I’d just like to touch on the ‘FAMILY CITY’ subsection. Birmingham has a recent history of redevelopments who bring in an influx of people who then object to the ‘vibrant’ centre hubub that was sold to them in the first place. At least one Pub has been closed via this scenario and now some of Digbeth’s entertainment centre’s are facing a similar threat. I’m not sure how attracting families to a City Centre squares with also providing entertainment to the cross section of Brums nightlife?, can a ‘living’ modern City Centre really be family friendly?.

'AUDACITY' a good idea, i.e had some success in past of attracting big events

'BUY LOCAL' is a middle class pipe dream, waste of money, especially if it still supoports Supermarket planning appl' in city centre.
this tweet was a bit glib and simplistic on my part, buy local is a good idea, trouble is B.C council has continually stiffed small independent retailers. maybe some reparation could be done here.

'FAMILY CITY' How would these families impact on the vibrancy of City Centre entertainment (fiddle & bone, spotted dog as ex')
as above

'FAMILY CITY' would these families include the Birmingham families it's displaced during previous 'redevelopments'
as above

Consultation period now till Feb 6th, Is that long enough to get 'real' people involved and sort out finer details?,

As someone has already stated this is an all too brief period especially as it covers the Christmas and New Year holidays, is it long enough to physically get people involved?

Finally comes the obvious crass question, Where is the money coming from giving that we're supposed to be entering a recession?. I think a lot of people in Brum would say they'd rather see the little problems fixed short term before cash is diverted into huge projects long term.

Looking back over this post i can see it looks cynical but i really would like to see this thing work BUT Councils have a rich history of screwing things up and alienating Joe Public, if they can just get the first bit right maybe people will really get behind it and we'll see some actual factual results!.

*(post title is a play on an old Stranglers track from 'No More Heroes' album if you hain't got it go get it!)

Scotch Egg for Dummies

2008-12-11T13:38:00.007Z

I was a bit dismayed a couple of weeks back to read a dismissive blog remark
about the humble Scotch Egg (retro indeed).Now being a Scottish savoury snack fan i can only imagine this attitude comes from either a bad experience or maybe a traumatic incident with one in childhood.So i thought i'd set the record straight and present the secret to preparing a successful Scotch Egg...

First take one Scotch Egg, any
brand will usually do, this one is a Tesco's home brand.

Cut egg in half, unfortunately this is one thing that only comes with experience as it's not always easy to see how the egg lies beneath the pork.

Take out egg and drop a dollop of QUALITY Salad Cream into cavity.

Squish egg back into the Pork.

Eat egg

trust me,if you've followed these instructions properly you'll NEVER go back to Pork Pies!.

Some Twitter Enlightenment

2008-12-10T10:51:00.005Z

I was suprised (shocked even) last night at the amount of Social Media types who weren't familiar with Twitters basic SMS commands so plagiarised for your perusal....

follow or f username Follow a user's tweets - you will receive all their updates (on your PC).
leave or l username Stop updates from the user .
delete username Drop the user from your friend list.
d username message Send the message as a private message to the given user. This message will not appear in any public time line and is usually delivered via email.

If update by text becomes available again in the UK here's a raft of others.

Dem Bones Dem Bones

2008-12-08T14:40:00.010Z

I'll leave it to someone else to review the Punk alldayer @ Flapper & Firkin Saturday 6th suffice to say that Bones (Broken Bones) played, the guitarist that came up with a sound and song structure that said 'Yep, that's a Discharge song'

Christmas Top Five Songs

2008-12-06T13:05:00.006Z

Can't believe no one else has done this yet...

The Waitresses Christmas Wrapping Yes, that's right, The Waitresses
The Pogues Fairytale Of New York (natch)
Jethro Tull Ring Out Solstice Bells Pagan festive fun
The Damned There ain't No Sanity Clause
The Business Step Into Christmas Yuletide shouty frolix (can't find Youtube link)

Closely followed by that Greg Lake song that starts 'they said there'd be snow at Christmas' and has that festive little hook in the middle.

(oh, and Jona Lewies 'Stop the Cavalry')

Hmmmm, Might expand this into a top 10 later

Twitter Ye Not

2008-11-28T11:36:00.007Z

Thinking today that i've had a Twitter account for a few months now (see right if it's still there) and still find it really difficult to form an opinion on. I'll use it one week, go quiet for a month, maybe follow some people the next, Hover over the 'delete account' button and so on. I'm still not completely convinced that it's not just this years internet fad which will eventually be bought up by Murdoch et al and rebranded into something shite marketed at generation X factor (blogs have a similar faddish quality but that's for another post (remember Myspace?). One thing is for certain though (showing my age here) it DOES remind me of my early 80's CB Radio days. lots of late night static and half heard conversations by people using mysterious ~~handles~~ nom de plumes, listen to one now and it's all gone quiet.
Is it a blog?, is it glorified texting?, is it cheap (usually one way) advertising?, has it any practical use in the non 'blogosphere' world since the update by text option has gone ? , think i'll just have to wait and see.

PS: if your reading this PLEASE FOLLOW ME :)

PPS: I thought camera phones would be a fad so shows what i know

Broad St vs. Black Sabbath

2008-11-24T19:56:00.016Z

From Memorabilia it's a quick shufty into town for Tony Iommi's induction into Brums Walk Of Stars where it turns out Satan doesn't look after his own after all. Instead yours truly and Sabbath's small crowd of faithful were treated to a lashing from God's merciless icy cold wind and rain which inflatable guitars seemed pretty powerless against.
I managed to catch a few snaps through the drops but unfortunately what i didn't get was a recording of the presentation speech, hastily put together by an assistant researcher and fumbled through by a befuddled deputy (deputy!!) Mayor seemingly oblivious to who he was handing a chunk of Birminghams pavement to, now that certainly did brighten proceedings up!.

Memorabillia Sells Out (Grrrrr)

2008-11-24T12:29:00.014Z

From it's humble beginings as a glorified Sci Fi themed car boot sale to its twice yearly stint as an essential geek fest i've been going to Memorabilia for about 14 years. This year though after a couple of hours going round and round in vain i still couldn't find anything eclectic/weird enough to catch my eye (except a couple of exploitation books), Cult appears to have gone frickin' mainstream. Even with a visual feast of Daleks, Cylons, Predators and cosplay Trekkies the only pictures i came back with were of Bizarre's favourite fetish diva Vanessa Upton and her brilliant 'Worn stockings for £30:00' ~~scam~~ idea.

Even more disturbing Fonzie (Henry Winkler) in his sensible jumper looked like y' grandad.

Rockabilly vs. Dr Who and Batman

2008-11-19T22:48:00.004Z

It's happened again, two spiffin' lineups of gutbucket Rock n' Roll and Psychobilly that not only clash with each other but also with me manning a stall at Memorabilia (i have to be tucked up in bed early Saturday). It's a conspiracy i tells ya!.

Jooks Of Kent @ Nicole's
Magnificatz @ Eddies

Aldi vs Google vs Midge

2008-11-19T20:26:00.004Z

The New Aldi @ Sheldon
Originally uploaded by Midge Diabolik

I couldn't understand why this bland afterthought of a photo was getting so many views on my Flickr. Quick search for 'Sheldon Aldi' on Google (reasonable search terms for a Sheldon resident looking for local Aldi) and there it is, 2nd and 3rd result (complete with unflattering description). You'd think a large corporation like that could better exploit search engines?

Y' Know it's Christmas When...

2008-11-15T11:51:00.005Z

Y' know it's nearly Christmas when your stood freezin' under the gaze of that scary flea bitten Moose in Victoria Square with a pint of fizzy German beer in one hand and a large phallic sized mustardy frankfurter in the other!.
The puzzling talking point this year is that the fancy new lights the Council have splashed out on only seem to come in Blue and White?.

Christmas Lights Turn Off

2008-11-09T11:02:00.006Z

not just ANY old burgers...

Through some bizarre sense of civic duty i go to this thing every year and i swear it gets 'Chavier' every time, it just ain't about the baby Jesus anymore. I lasted about ten minutes then made my excuses and left for a swift half in town longing for the days when Cliff Richard actually gave the event some class (crikey!!), did manage to get some pictures of a burger stand and a glow stick vendor though. It's all a moot point anyhow as everybody in Birminghan KNOWS Christmas doesn't start until the Frankfurt market serves up it's first Glühwein, roll on Thursday!.

Custard Factory Gets Satisfaction

2008-11-05T13:54:00.012Z

I've worked on and off at the Custard Factory for about Three years and have had/heard various gripes and ideas about the place which usually come to nought. But via an old Myspace mate came this getsatisfaction.com/custardfactory, basically a customer service website which enables punters,employees, etc... to provide input, ideas and feedback. Apparently the "Custard Factory has not sponsored or endorsed this site" but it looks pretty officious and hopefully will engage the place more with the public.

Active customer service discussions in Custard Factory

Get Satisfaction support network

Unfortunately the first post starts with a problem i'm well aware of, that being the resemblance of the C.F to a closed off building site but hopefully if more people get involved more positive topics can be discussed. It'll be interesting to see how it all works out?.

S.A.D Blog Entry

2008-11-05T11:29:00.005Z

I'm not sure if it's the nights drawing in or the fact that i curently feel like crap but i just can't summon up the muse or enthusiasm to write anything except this?.

Och Aye The Swinging Sporran

2008-11-02T12:01:00.015Z

picture pilfered from Birmingham it's Not Shit

I haven't been in The Swinging Sporran (y' know, formerly The Cabin/B3, on the corner by the Hancock statue) for about Eight years and to be honest i didn't much care for it. I think it was euphamistically called a 'working mens' pub so typically full of the flotsam that's been barred from the other pubs or ejected from the gutter. So Saturday night finds me still knackered after a 5am start but i thought i'd catch a couple of bands before heading home so gave the place another punt. Pleasantly suprised with the refurbishment, the upstairs is still full of 'characters' but what i didn't realise was there's a downstairs function room similar to The Royal George's (boarded up pub by St Martins). About the same size, low ceiling, perfect sized dance floor, cheap bottled beer, very reasonable entrance fee (don't even think of blagging!). It's now home to Rehab promotions who put on some cracking Punk/Metal line ups. Last night featured Northeners T' Kings Of The Delmar and Brums own Obnoxious UK who both put on a good show despite Goldblade poaching all the frickin' punters. Definitely going to be make some more trips there in the future.

Gig in A Halfpipe

2008-10-26T13:15:00.010Z

I've seen some bands in strange places (typically toilets with a rickety stage installed) but last nights Ramp Jam was a new one, a gig on a Skateboard ramp promoted by Digbeths A Third Foot and hosted by Ideal Skateboards at the Custard Factory. Leeds Garage rockers The Gentlemans Pistols (supported by Stinky Wizzleteat and Doom Patrol) gamely clung on to the plywood sides whilst the mosh competed with the halfpipers (forgive the total lack of skatebording lingo*) for floorspace. Good night allround with much throwing of beer and sliding down the walls.Third Foot bloke says he hopes to have more stuff on there in the future so worth keeping an eye on. I've Flickr'd a load of pictures but amidst the chaos, beer, dust and poor light they didn't come out too good.

* when i were a lad the Holy Grail of Skateboarding tricks was the handstand, whatever happened to them?

Bring It On Home.

2008-10-26T10:50:00.002Z

Forewent a usual Saturday morning lie in to spend a couple of hours at The Home Of Metal shindig at the Wolv' Art Gallery. Capsule 'sisters' Lisa & Jenny pulled off a blinder showcasing Brums veteran rock bands which ended up influencing the world stage, Zeppelin, Priest and Sabbath alongside Napalm Death & Godflesh. Not just a bunch of pictures but a digital archive of stuff involving photos and interviews (think rock themed D.S.S appointments "where were you '89?","what were you listening to?"). Nice touch with Kerrang's Johnny Doom hijhacking patrons for impromptu talks and reminding me of long gone Birmingham venues such as The Mermaid, Kaleidescope and the Barrel Organ as well as grilling Earaches Digby Pearson. Truth is though i felt like a bit of a fraud as in the 80's i wasn't a Metal fan but a big time Punk poseur, it just so happened that Napalm Death crossed the floor into my Discharge coloured noise threshhold (much like Motorhead did).

On a more selfish interest at the time i used to subscribe to Sounds (couldn't stand the N.M.E's pseudo political posteuring) and ended up hoarding Ten years worth of the f**kers in my loft so the picture you see above consists of several scans of articles from them which leads nicely to ....

Forty Two years and at last a printed confirmation that i contributed something to someone somewhere!.

Damn Cosmic Coincidences!

2008-10-24T11:15:00.009+01:00

Tomorrow looks like some weird Nexus point between the various threads of my interests. So morning i'll give The Home Of Metal a whirl (i conntributed some Sounds papers so there's a selfish interest), then back to Brum to hopefully catch some tattooed babes smash themselves to bits at a Roller Derby. Time for a swift half at Scruffies perhaps then it's a toss up between the gig at the Ideal Skate Ramp or a night with veteran Brum punk stalwarts G.B.H at the Asylum. Truth is though they've lost their Mojo recently so it looks like i'll be swotting up on the likes of 'Ollies', 'Mongoing' and a bunch of other Skate terms i'll never understand in order to get down with the kids at the Custard Factory. Busy day indeed (what would Diceman do?).
Addendum: And The Stranglers are playing The Academy, their first Three albums were frickin' awesome but post Cornwall they ain't that great.

eee Ubuntu

2008-10-22T20:03:00.007+01:00

Installed Ubuntu 8.10 'Hardy Heron' (seriously!?) for eee on Asus. Half hour job start to finish and a doddle. Trick is to comment out 'cdrom' entry in fstab else it won't mount removeable storage without 'root access' error. Looks a lot slicker (and grown up)than the Xandros default install.

IGly Google Interface

2008-10-20T22:19:00.008+01:00

Just when i had my iGoogle thing all nicely set up i now find they've put the tabs into a left hand sidebar, on my funky new eee 4G it takes up far too much space on the 7" screen. Even stranger it flicks back and forth between the top and left positioned tabs depending on which computer and even which browser i use. The problem/solution?, logging in via google.CO.UK/ig gives you top positioned tabs, logging in via google.COM/ig gives you the sidebar. I think this feature is in Beta testing so hopefully it'll turn up as an option in settings?.

Baaa Baaa Bar Academy

2008-10-17T11:37:00.008+01:00

How on earth does the Bar Academy get away with treating it's punters like frickin' cattle (yes, i know Sheep ain't Cattle but it's the best title i could think of). I'm talking about overpriced (awful) beer, Lack of staff (who do their best), the occasional bolshie doormen, P*ss poor stage (don't get me started on the barrier) and so on...What's desperately needed is some decent ~300 people capacity competition in Brum city centre which might give them the impetus to pull their frickin' fingers out.

Bike Hardware Gender Politics

2008-10-16T20:59:00.001+01:00

Nothing looks more sexier and screams "Blokes Bike" than a pair of shiny Black 'bullhorn' bar ends!!.

(yet another street/skip find)

Asussed

2008-10-15T15:13:00.005+01:00

I have a new box of tricks, the Asus eee 4g netbook. Plenty of (favorable) reviews elsewhere but a nippy piece of kit, Small as f**k, Cute as a barrel of kittens. Tiny being the watchword it has a compact keyboard (fits my itty bitty digits just great), small 7" screen which is suprisingly easy to read even through my -9 contacts lenses, and a minute solid state memory which just encourages you to use removable/online storage. The real moneysaver/dealbreaker is that it uses the Linux os, i was a Slackware geek for about 12 months so find the hackable nature of this stuff an infuriating adventure. Four hours out the box it's now running a KDE advanced desktop and has GIMP tweaking my pictures. Sits in the bottom of my bag now ready for realtime Pub blogs an' such :).
Stay tuned for the blog in which i sit on the f***er and bemoan spending my money on something you could literally choke on.

Blatant Nepotism I Tells Ya...

2008-10-13T10:00:00.005+01:00

I seldom plug bands here but Urban Village's resident fop Joe's band Jensen and the Interceptors are playing on Thursday the 16th October at the Bar Academy (even though that place is a frickin' rip off!) supporting the Big Bang. Be there or be decidedly obtuse angled, bring money!!.

Boot Hill

2008-10-12T13:23:00.009+01:00

Annual Shoe Report 2008
50 Pairs
About 25 in regular rotation
Shoes and sandals not Included
DAMN YOU TO HADES T.K MAXX!!

There's Custard In Them Thar Radiatiors

2008-10-08T11:13:00.002+01:00

Y' know Winters drawing in on Gibb St when the radiators make this weird dripping sound but never get b*stard warm.

Of Comic Nerds and SteamPunk

2008-10-05T19:07:00.010+01:00

A rapid rise from the Custard Factory (c/o CF's own Andy Baker) to Millenium point Birmingham International Comics Show is by far the best graphic novel shindig this side of London. Plenty of whipper snapper independent comic writers which are a breath of fresh air compared with the usual Marvel superhero fodder you get at 'vanilla' fares. Trouble is with a visual feast such as this it's pretty much impossible to photo (spoilt for choice) so i've only caught (and Flickr'd) some bits and pieces and to be frank some Forty odd year old bloke asking some cosplay babe to pose is creepy to say the least!. Roll on next year.

ask nicely and i might show you my Calculus Cat Tattoo

STEAMPUNK

Can't finish without mentioning Gaslight Garage for the inclusion of some incredible SteamPunk paraphenalia, a retro-futuristic subgenre which is turning up some frickin' bizarre eyeboggling material!.

We Came For Johnny And Screamed For Bob

2008-10-04T12:01:00.009+01:00

Top geezer John Cooper Clarke at the Hare and Hounds. He's like your first motor, a bit ropey, splutters and stalls a bit but when he's firing on all cylinders nothing sounds sweeter. Unlike the last 'Hare' show he struck a balance between comedy and poetry that just hit the sweet spot. 'Chickentown','Beasley St' and lymeric faves delivered in that Salford drawl that even made old chestnuts funny again. Best value for money this side of Ken Dodd

Special mention for Bob Log III. that's right folks, he did the whole set in a sparkly fighter pilots helmet fitted with a 300 series phone handset mike. Slide 'trash' guitar, bass drum, footpedal tambourine and Delta Blues driven ditties that had my mate convinced it was Jon Spencer inncommunicado. Kudos to Bob for allowing beardy bloke to sit on his knee when he was clearly expecting a dame (see Flickr).

(note to support act, Asian guys doing comedy about aunts and marrying cousins isn't post modern any more it just ain't funny but muchos respect for braving hecklers and an indifferent audience)

Evidently Chickentown vs. Moped Lads

2008-10-03T13:30:00.003+01:00

I haven't made my mind up if i'm seeing Johnny or Peter and the Test Tube Babies tonight but either's a good punt in my book (i suspect 'The Tubes' will be packed hot and sweaty).

Gorillapodastic! (Blatant Product Endorsement!?)

2008-10-02T14:10:00.002+01:00

I'm not always that sold on Gadget Show stuff,it either seems pointless or just too damn expensive but i've just been persuaded to splash out on this Gorillapod camera gizmo. Great stuff, it'll wrap its flexible little rubber legs round anything (ooer), is pretty damn sturdy and even has a quick release boss.
So you can now expect plenty of arty long exposure trashcam shots where the Still lords it over the Animate.

Transgendered Toilets and Jim Bowen (4 Degrees of Separation)

2008-10-01T15:53:00.007+01:00

It wasn't so much the story 'toilets with urinals,it's P.C gorn mad' that made me smile it was the fact that the bar is in the affectionately called Steve Biko building (how 80's). At Coventry University (early 90's) we had both Biko AND Mandela bars until in a typical show of student political fickleness Nelson M got Jilted for 'Bullys Bar' as in (Bullseye) which was then opened by Jim Bowen.

Nokiart

2008-09-30T21:37:00.008+01:00

I'm still reeling from that unfounded accusation of being uncreative so i thought i'd share my latest piece 'My Trusty Nokia 3310 (unmade cellphone)'. On display in my bookcase and mounted with Velcro so it can be bought back into service in emergencies. Built for pennies, bids start around the £100 mark.

Gigbeth Bites Back (Bah humbug)

2008-09-30T20:04:00.020+01:00

From Gigbeth Blog 21st Sept'

"The fact that the blog is called ‘Another Byte of Banality’ makes me assume that the blog is a hive of negativity rather than creativity."

That'll teach me to make flip remarks in a fit of boredom ,irony is i'll probably win that free ticket raffle i entered at Artsfest.
Some thoughts though..

I'm 42 AND cynical so yes the glass is probably half empty (and probably cracked to boot).

Despite this i am quite chirpy as most people will vouch for.

The Banality bit comes from the fact that as much as i enjoy reading and writing blogs in the bigger sheme of things thay are banal.

Now Gigbeth is up and running the line up isn't too bad (though i'd prefer The Courtesy Group to The Guillemots)..

I Frickin' loathe S Cowell and everything he stands for and on.

The comments thing doesn't work on Gigbeth.com hence this entry being here.

Drinks are on me, November @ The Rainbow
All the best Midge

Well It Certainly Sells

2008-09-28T12:56:00.008+01:00

Stockings @ The Hare and Hounds
Originally uploaded by Midge Diabolik

I've spent the morning editing, Flickering and tagging some pictures from last nights Magnificatz gig. I found this misc' picture, uploaded it and tagged it with 'stocking' and 'seams', it's now had Seven views in five minutes. Really makes you think!

Addendum: it's now 28 views in about five hours, the 'busiest' piccie i've ever Flickr'd.

Double Addendum: 53 views, this could be the best Flickr ever!

Turn It up Sonny...

2008-09-27T11:05:00.009+01:00

'Urban Village' Dave will be hosting the first (of hopefully many) Used Pro Audio fair at the Custard Factory on the 19th October. Expect PAs, Speakers, Amps, Microphones and miscellaneous wotnot (trust me, i've seen the electronic Aladdins cave of goodies he's 'Tetrissed' into his garage). Dealers are most welcome, you can contact him at Dave[at]CalSystems.co.uk or stalk him via www.calsystems.co.uk

Eccentricity In The City

2008-09-24T00:12:00.028+01:00

Do i hear a bid for £1.50 for nationalistic flip flops, £2.00 for some slides of Rome, £3:00 for edible underwear, X amount for an animated electronic singing hamster, £8:00 for a 'musical saw' lesson. then it must be The Eccentric Auction fundraiser @ the Anchor Inn. As promised it was like an eBay/Carboot hybrid 'on acid'. Lovejoy wannabes Harry and Si pulled off the auctioneers hat bit admirably for the Eccentric City paper (think parochial Headpress meets the Metro) and pumped me good (oooer!!) for a bid on some Zines, still all independent print is worth a punt!. Special appearance by John Ward who reminds me of a contemporary rubbish themed Wilf Lunn and i ALWAYS have time for Skip divers.

Unlucky for you guys i lost the raffle for a free page in the next issue so a printed tabloid sized rant will have to wait for another day.

Auction wise i bagged The Trojan Rat and some 'zines ...

apologies for quality of pictures but the room was tiny, light was dim, i'm on medication

Strap On Jack Revisited

2008-09-21T17:51:00.014+01:00

My bestest mate Al was searching through some old photographs (y' know, those square paper things with pictures on them) when he came across some photo's (~'80s) of STRAP ON JACK, Bearwoods finest pub Rock/R'n'B band** bar NONE!. Fond memories of following them round Brum (typically The Sheldon, Barrel Organ, The Bear, etc..) to listen to such ditties as 'Spank Yer Plank', 'Pink Cadillac', 'Your Not The Woman You Used To be', 'I Wanna Be Your Dog',' We Been Drinking' and so on and so forth all turned up to '11'. Frickin' heady days of Wine and Roses, Snakebite and Black, not sure if my hearing ever recovered. These photo's were taken in various places including London and the West Coast. I've flickr'd them all into a set along with some scans of albums and promo stuff. I'm now trying to source some older pictures of Micks raincoat and Red bowler hat phase.

Where Are They Now

Mike Hayes (Guitar/Vocals/Class lyrics) - Missing In Action!!

Haldin H Wright (Bass) - Fronts the BEST Thin Lizzy Tribute Dizzy Lizzy

Richard Heath (Drums) - Journey man muso for Clarkesville Mountain Band and Partners In Crime

Special Dispatches

Martin 'Tex' Wood (roadie, tech and thumpings) - went to college, got qualified, last seen working for C.A.B

Alan Middleton (asst' roadie in later 'True Grit' days) - IT tech, got married and sired a mixed five aside team, (kind supplier of these photos)

**(NB! not that trite 'Sultans Of Swing' shit churned out by middle aged frustrated bank manager musos)

All The Worlds A Frickin' Wurlitzer

2008-09-19T11:10:00.009+01:00

After six weeks of 'suffering' i've finally gone the Docs and had it confirmed that i'm suffering from Viral Labyrinthitis. Pesky little middle ear conditon which gives the sensation that the worlds constantly wobbling, nothing serious but i'm certainly not the perky bundle of fun i usually am. So it's a course of Leeches for me @ £7:10 a pop!, though after reading through the side effects and the no alcohol clause i think i'd rather have the dizziness. Still, Frank says most Custard Factory weekenders would pay good money for a feeling like that :).

Eyeball Limpets !?

2008-09-18T17:01:00.003+01:00

Is there nothing more annoying than when a contact lens slips and sticks like buggery to the bottom of your eyeball, (and when it does come free you end up having to chase it round the edge of your sclera using a tiny make up mirror!).

Hitchiking To The Bank.

2008-09-17T14:47:00.014+01:00

J' Accuse !!

Bit dismayed to read that there are plans for a sixth book in the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy 'trilogy' ('So Long and Thanks for All The Fish' was a pretty lacklustre outing and i didn't even read 'Mostly Harmless'). I think even Douglas Adams knew that they'd run their course and was then writing his Dirk Gently books. Hitchikers Guide WAS Adams and i just don't see how another author can even come close to capturing that style, to quote from the article...

The book will "make no claims for Eoin being Douglas", according to Prior. "It's not Eoin Colfer writing as Douglas Adams, as was the case with Sebastian Faulks," she said, pointing to Penguin's successful publication of Faulks's new James Bond novel Devil May Care earlier this year. "It's absolutely about him being himself – Eoin the author, but with the cast of Hitchhiker."

So what's the bloody point, cynical me thinks it's just a ruse to milk a long dead 'Ameglian Major' Cash Cow!!

Artsfest

2008-09-14T00:39:00.014+01:00

El Diabolero

Hundreds of events over dozens of venues so reviewing it would be pointless/tedious. Suffice to say that along with the Frankfurt Christmas Market it's one of the few things that Birmingham City Council get right.

(i've Flickr'd some stuff but Birmingham Flickr group have it all stitched up)

Addendum: the frickin' weather was perfect!!

Cash Strapped Adicts !?

2008-09-09T13:34:00.007+01:00

Well, i WAS going to go see veteran punksters The Adicts on Sunday but i've just realised they're playing The Academy. So that'll be 17 quid in and 3.70 a pint.. screw that!!. Instead i'm off to Artsfest to hoy eggs at 'anarcho crusties' (give me a break) The Levellers who also played The Academy last year @ £18:00 a pop!!.

A Curious Egg Indeed.

2008-09-07T19:44:00.007+01:00

Those Curates Egg types pull off another coup and bag a return visit from Johnny Clarke (Oct 3rd, part of the Birmingham Comedy Fest). Caught him at the Hare & Hounds last time where he did around Two hours of killer stand up (just a couple of poems though) only interrupted when he politely asked leave to take a leak. Age (and rehab) has certainly made him more reliable, we went to see him several times in the 80's and he just didn't turn up (probably on a bender with the cash he made from those Sugar Puff Ads).

I only saw Ted Chippington once ~'86 (supporting Fuzzbox) but STILL tell the joke about my Dad being in 'Nam, <pause > that's Cheltenam, Ha Ha Ha!.

Where Did I Put My Feet ?

2008-09-07T01:10:00.014+01:00

One thing i pride myself on is my reliable memory. But for Frank to remind me that i've got a defunct website knockin' about was a bit of a shocker!.
(no apologies for photo, i've got a great ass)

Addendum: This morning i tried to update that site only to find that my FTP client wouldn't work. Some Googling found this. Seems Orange has stiffed it's old loyal Freeserve customers who now cannot access their websites without going through a laughable rollback to a dial-up connection, completely f*kin' hatstand mate!. My Ass now belongs to the ages!!.

D:ream On Digbeth

2008-09-04T11:50:00.007+01:00

Still speculation about the final line up for Gigbeth but seriously, D:ream and the Sugarhill Gang!. I'm assuming these were the leftovers from this years scaled down Gay Pride.

McAlpine vs. The Mary Celeste

2008-09-03T21:49:00.010+01:00

As Pete Ashton pointed out on his C.F blog the Billie Piper whoreding on the front of the Custard Factory is certainly eyecatching. But judging by the feedback from Joe Public (and the few weirdos that come in the shop) the general opinion is that the whole place is shut for repairs. This is certainly reflected in a downturn in trade and the general quietness of the Sat/Sun flea markets. Are there any proposed dates for completion and funky little miniature mockups?. (and that deathtrap lakeside boardwalk will need fixing soon!)

Johnny TwoJobs !?

2008-09-03T14:15:00.006+01:00

After many years of Practice, Study, and Dedication as a Slacker my efforts have now come to nought. I now find myself with two jobs and a full time working week. DigbethSlacker blogspot will now have to be renamed DigbethYuppieScumbag. Applications for position of wife and 2.5 kids will be most welcome (tattooed wives get first cuts!).

Re: Cycle zine

2008-09-02T13:40:00.005+01:00

I've bought many a Punk fanzine since the early Eighties but at the Punx Picnic (see below) i came across this...

Chainbreaker a rough guide to bicycle maintenance by Lynn Jackson and Ethan Clark

A delightfully quirky lifestyle zine/book (which are much more common in the States) covering everything from aligning derailleur gears to making belts from bike tyres to essays on life as a female bike mechanic.
From content to layout it has a real Punk DIY asthetic throughout with some funky illustrations and diagrams.The real bottom line though (and reason for this post) is that it's great to come across these labours of love but they are becoming increasingly rare due to the advent of Web 2.0 and internet publishing, i remember when Cut and Paste used to mean getting your fingers sticky!.

Brum Punx Picnic 2008

2008-08-31T12:34:00.007+01:00

Brum Punx Usual Suspects 2008
Originally uploaded by Midge Diabolik

It's that time of year again, Birmingham Punks picnic 2008 and out they come, freshly died dayglo mohicans,neatly pressed bondage trousers and polished piercings. And every year it seems to be in a different venue, from the defunct Royal George to the much missed Market Tavern to the Moseley Arms to the Wagon And horses Digbeth. Not a bad venue, nicely split up into seperate Bar,Market, DJ and band rooms but suprisingly quick bar service considering the numbers that turned up. A frickin hot and sweaty line up with a suprise appearance by Birmingham veteran punksters Drongos For Europe who 'supported' the alway good for a laugh London wideboys Intensive Care. The little touches like the Covered Market and Jah Fly sound system topped of a great night only marred by the fact i had to get a Taxi home and pay through the nose for the privelidge!.
(plenty of Photo's on my Flickr)

Pammy Stacked!

2008-08-28T00:26:00.007+01:00

Poor ~~old~~ Pamela Anderson, Great T*ts, Piss poor comedy actress.

Stumped by Stump

2008-08-27T18:09:00.011+01:00

image courtesy of Kev Hopper

The conversation goes something thuswise...

"Midge, you remember Stump ?"
"No"
"Yes you do !"
"I don't THINK so"
"That band, early Eighties, Barrel Organ, John Peel, Tin Tin Quiff"
"???? No, you're surely mistaking me with someone else"
"Midge, your going senile" (changes topic of conversation)

Cut to a week later, Youtube, fuckin' STUMP!!! the guy with the quiff, wonky fretless bass lines, Spazz guitar riffs, Anglo Irish Beefheart aspirants. Off to H.M.V, 3C.D anthology. How could i have forgot them!, i surely haven't drunk THAT much in the last X number of years!!. This months recommended listen

Have You Seen this Moose !?

2008-08-27T11:29:00.017+01:00

Xmas Market Moose

Prince of Wales Moose"moo"

It was with some suprise yesterday that i saw the Frankfurt Christmas Market Moose holidaying in the Prince Of Wales, Moseley. A warmer climate perhaps or a more sinister snafu by quarantine officials ?. (I did ask him but he remained tightlipped, at the Xmas market all that Wasseil makes him a bit more voiciferous and animated! )

Rhubarb Rhubarb Rhubarb On The Fly

2008-08-18T14:38:00.019+01:00

The Custard Factory's Rhubarb Radio Blogsite has recently become required reading, a staion which has an equipped ready to go studio but no apparent business model (ie: lots of ideas about logos, few ideas about financing). Being a bit of a slacker i'm fascinated about how to go about such a venture myself and the logistics of getting the funding together.
(sorry if this post seems a bit harsh but i've just finished a book about Radio Caroline and the problems faced by pirate stations and it just throws into sharp relief how things have changed. )

Another British Blog Bitchin' About Weather

2008-08-14T21:09:00.008+01:00

After bottling out of The Bulldog Bash and Download (which turned out to be mostly sunny!) i thought i'd take a chance with a trip to Wales. Wrong, Wrong Wrong!, with the rare exception of Friday being 'mostly' fine it ended up pissing down again!. Washed out trips to Portmeirion and Aberystwyth follow with chilly nights spent in the Pub or sitting in the gazebo with hoodie on and lager in hand. Next year i'm going back to Ibiza and by hook or by crook i'm stoppin' all summer.

Just call me Pigeons for friends!

2008-08-03T13:11:00.005+01:00

Just call me Pigeons for friends!
Originally uploaded by Midge Diabolik

So i'm sitting outside the Sacks of Potatoes lost in thought when this maingie flea bittten bird sidles up and settles down next to me as if i was lonely and needed some company!. Where did it all go wrong, before they got married/settled down, etc.. i used to have lots of drinking buddies, now i just have Vermin!!

Rhubarb And Custard

2008-07-30T14:06:00.003+01:00

Radio Rhubarb @ Custard Factory
Originally uploaded by Midge Diabolik

Beaming out 100 Megabytes of power to literally Dozens of people!.

(Seriously though, should be interesting)